|
RACIST JOKES |
|
| Misc | Owners Manual | Application | Ebonics Guide | Racist Cartoons | Another source of jokes: http://www.racist-jokes.com ![]() HAVE A JOKE NOT ON THE LIST? SEND IT IN TO MERCHANDISE@RESIST.COM
Racial
Characteristics: 4.There's a paki, a englishman, a granny and a blonde girl on a train.They go threw the tunnel and they hear some one get slapped. The blonde girl thinks the paki has felt the granny and slapped the paki and the granny thought that about the blonde girl and the englishman thought I can't wait until another tunnel so I can hit that paki bastard again. When
is the only time you can spit in a Persian womans face?
Racial
Characteristics: Have you heard about the Chinese retard? Her parents named her Sum Ting Wong. How do chincs come up with names for their kids? By throwing silverware down the stairs and it goes ping, ching, pong, That’s what they name their kids. How do you blindfold a chink? Dental floss! How
do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Racial
Characteristics: Who’s the best Jewish cook? Hitler. What do you get when you squeeze a Synagogue? Jewce(juice) When’s the only time you wink and smile at a nigger? Through the scope. What was so bad about being a black Jew? You had to sit in the back of the oven. How does hitler’s moped sound? Runnnn nigger nigger nigger, runnnn nigger nigger nigger What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven. What's a Jewish woman's favorite position for sex? Facing Macy's. Why do Jewish husbands die young? Because they want to. Q. What do you get when you cross a Jewish princess and a prostitute?A. A fucking know-it-all. Q: What’s the resemblance between snails and Sephardic Jews?A: They don’t need women to make babies! Why are jews so good at math? They got all the answers burned on their arms. First
Man: I'm going to be just like Hitler and kill all the jews. But
I'm going
to kill all the clowns, too. Why
did Hitler kill himself? Hitler stands in front of a cannon with some jews. He tells the first one: Spread your arms and jump into the cannon! The jew jumps and dies. Then he tells the second one: Touch your toes with your hands and jump into the canon! The jew jumps and dies, too. He tells the third one: Put your arms in the air and jump into the canon! Suddenly, Hitlers mother appears, yelling at him: Adolf, stop playing tetris with those jews!!! At his birthday, Hitler tells three jews: Ive got a dice here. Two sides are blue, two are green and the other two sides are red. Everyone of you has to roll the dice. If it shows blue, one of you will be hung. If it shows green, one of you will be shot. If it shows red, I´ve got a surprise for you! The first one rolls the dice, it shows blue and he is hung. The second one rolls the the dice, it shows green, and he is shot. The third one rolls the dice. It shows red, therefore Hitler says: Congratulations, you can roll the dice again!!! Two nazis meet in prison. The first one asks the second one. What is misfortune? A bus full of jews falliing of a cliff right into the sea. What is a disaster? If they can swim. What's
Hitlers least favorite planet? Little Zachary, a Jewish kid, was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of to help his math! Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner, to her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room, and hit the books. With great trepidation, his mom looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said: "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. "Well, then," she replied, "Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?" Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't screwing around." Why are Synagogue's circular? So the jews cant hide in the corner when the collection plate comes around! A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You motherfuckers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, fuck you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should fuck you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" An old jew bitch was walking her grandson down the beach when a huge wave came up and washed the little boy out to sea. The old woman shook her fist at the sky and cursed God for 20 minutes for taking her only grandson. Finally God couldn't stand the irritating bitch anymore and he sent another wave that set the boy, unharmed, gently back at her feet. After a quick search of the boy she shook her fist at the sky and shrieked, "He had 50 cents in his pocket when you took him!"
Racial
Characteristics:
What did god say when he saw the first nigger? AHHHHH shit I burnt 1! - Aussie Q)What do you say if your tv is floating in the middle of the night? A)Drop it nigga! Q)Why are niggers getting stronger? A)Tvs are getting heavier Why
do all niggers smell?
So even the blind people can hate them. What do you call 1000 niggers around the CN tower? Pubes! Why
do lions in Africa lick their assholes? What's an average everyday nigga? A poor black man with 1 woman, 5 kids barley supports them all, and eats fried chicken, drinks red coolade, watching upn what do you say when you see a T.V. floating outside of your window at night? Drop it nigger. A bus load of niggers going to DC for the million coon march overturns on Texas road and niggers are thrown everywhere. A few minutes later a farmer driving his back hoe comes upon the accident and starts burying the bodies. Just as he is completing the job a Cop pulls up and asks "what happened here?" The farmer replies " I came upon this accident and started burying the bodies." Then the cop asks "Are you sure they were all dead?" The farmer answers, "Well some said they were still alive but you know how those niggers lie." What
do you call the New Orleans Superdome full of milk? What
do they call the subway in harlem? What
do you call two dozen niggers working in a cotton field under the
blazing sun? Q:
Why
did the mexican family move out of the outhouse? Q:how
can you tell if a nigress is on her period? Niggers: How do you keep a nigger from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling. How do you get him down? Tell the spics down the street it a pinyata. or however the fuck you spell it. Why does aspirin have cotton in the top? To remind the niggers they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers. How do you find a nigger at night? Tell the motherfucker to smile. What do you do when you see a nigger crawling across your front lawn bleeding to death? Stop laughing and RE-LOAD!!!!!! What do you call a black pasture.............. Holy shit. Whats the difference between a nigger and a picnic table? A picnic table can support itself. What
do you call a nigger with a peg leg? Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers...... 10) YOU HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING. 09) THE PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT. 08) ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC. 07) THE PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON THE CAR WHILE HOLDING UP PANTS AT THE SAME TIME. 06) THEY KEEP TRYING TO CARJACK DALE, JR. 05) POLICE CARS ON TRACK INTERFERE WITH RACE. 04) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO. 03) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR CADILLAC. 02) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS. AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR: 01) WHEN THEY CRASH THEIR CAR THEY BAIL OUT AND RUN. I have nothing against NIGGERS... I think every one should own a few! How do you castrate a nigger? Kick his FAT momma in the jaw! Do you know why ray charles and stevie wonder can't read? Becuase they are niggers! What do you do when you see a nigger with one leg? Stop laughing and reload! What do you call 10,000 niggers on the moon? A black star... What do you call 1 million nigger on the moon? Eclipse... What do you call all the niggers on the moon? Problem solved! This little boy is sleeping one night and has a dream that his grandfather is going to die. Well the next morning he wakes up, goes in the kitchen to get some breakfast,andhis mother says "son, I've got something horrible to tell you". And the little boy says "no mother, I alredy know, Grandpa is dead huh"? "How'd you know" said the mother? The little boy said "because I dreamed it lastnight while in bed". The mother says "well I'm sorry I know you loved him and all, but now he's gone." And the little boy goes off to school. The next night the little boy has a dream his Father is going to die, well he goes to school all day and is very worried, and all. Well he comes home later that day to find his mother, and father both were at home and he was overjoyed at the sight of his father. But his mother was crying histerically, and the little boy said "Mom what's the matter"? and his mother says, "Son the milk man was delivering the milk today and.. well... he fell up the steps, had a heart attack and just died, right there." What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers? In trouble. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers? Coach. What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers. Prison Warden Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this Nigger at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The nigger looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Homer says, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The Nigger replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the Nigger placed his money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The Nigger was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money." Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The Nigger replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again." Homer took the money...... This little niglet boy asked his dad, "Dad, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is it because I'm black?" The dad replied "No you dumb nigger, it's because you're 17!" How do you make a nigger nervous? Take em to an auction! What's the difference between an ethiopion and a pair of jeans? A pair of jeans only has one fly on it! N.A.A.C.P. = Now Apes Are Called People Why can't black babies play in the sand box? Because cats keep covering them up! What do you say to a black man in uniform? I'll take a Big Mac, fries and a large coke! Why do blacks have flat noses? That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails What do you have if you've got a black man up to his neck in cement? Not enough cement! What has four legs and a black arm? A happy pitbull! What starts with "N", ends with "R", and is a word you never want to call a black? Neighbor! How do you get a nigger out of a tree? Tell a bunch of drunk border hoppers its a pinyada! What do you do with a black jew? Put him in the back of the oven! A spic walks into a bar and says, "Hey, nigger, give me a drink." The nigger bartender says, "I'll give you a drink, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to me as a "nigger." "Oh man!, I am sure sorry about that bro'. Won't happen again." A few minutes later the spic says, "Hey moon crickett, another round." The nigger says,"Hey, look, I really don't want you calling me "moon crickett" either." The spic says,"Sorry bootlips, I didn't mean anything by it." The bartender says, "OK that's it! How would you like it if you were the bartender and I came in here calling you names?" "I don't know, let's find out." So the spic puts on an apron and goes behind the bar and the nigger walks outside and comes back in and shouts, "Hey wetback! I want a fucking drink!" The "bartender" stops washing glasses and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve niggers in here." In a first grade class on the first day of school, the teacher wanted to get to know all the students, so she had them all stand up and say their names. A little niglet stood up and said that his name was "Mother Fucker." "Excuse me?" asked the incredulous teacher. "That's right ho, my name be Mother Fucker." "Well listen here," said the teacher, "this may be the first day of school, and you may think you can use foul language to get attention, but I can assure you that I won't tolerate it. Now, tell me your real name right now or I will send you straight to the principal's office." The black boy replied, "Look bitch, I said my name be Mother Fucker, and I mean ta tell ya, it be Mother Fucker!" "Well, that's it! Get out of my classroom right now!" The boy headed for the door and when he got there he turned to his twin brother who was also in the classroom and said, "Come on, Fuck Face, the bitch ain't gonna believe you either." A nigger walks into a bar with a duck on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Hey, cool, where did you get that?" Duck says, "Africa, they are all over the fucking place." Nigger walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctuh, you gots ta hep me! I'm dyin' and it hurts!" "Well, where does it hurt, boy?" "Oh lawd, it hurts here," pointing to his leg, "And it hurts here," pointing to his arm, "And it's killin' me here," pointing to his stomach. After a full examination, the doctor says, "Get out of my office you asshole, all you have is a broken finger!" The Pope, a boyscout, and the smartest nigger in the world are on an airplane. The engines fail, the plane starts going down, and there is only 2 parachutes. The smartest nigger in the world says, "Due to my extraordinarily high intelligence, I believe it is imperative that I survive and continue to show my people the path to greatness." He grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The Pope tells the boyscout, "I am an old man and I am ready to meet God, so you may use the remaining parachute, my son." The boyscout replies, "No, that's cool Pope, we both have parachutes because that nigger just jumped out of the plane with my backpack." A priest and a rabbi show up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "Can I help you boys?" "Well, yeah, we just died and we would like to come in to Heaven." Peter looks at his clipboard and says, "I don't think so. You have been pretty bad on Earth and we don't let people like that in here. But I'll tell you what; go ahead and go to Hell, just for now. If Satan will let you come back, I will let you in." Peter sends them away laughing, because Satan never lets anyone go to Heaven. About 10 minutes later the preacher shows back up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "No shit! Satan let you come back?" "Yeah, he was in a good mood and said for $20 bucks each we could get out of Hell." "Well, where is that rabbi?" "I don't know, when I left he had Satan down to $19.95." There is this rich Texas rancher who has a 100 meter long swimming pool with a shark in it. He has always said if anyone could swim from one end to the other without being eaten, he would give them either his daughter or his ranch. Well, his beautiful daughter had gone off to art school in New York and brought a nigger classmate home to one of her Dad's big barbeques. Of course, everyone is talking about how fucked up it is that the rancher's daughter brought a nigger there, when all of a sudden there was a huge splash. Everyone looked, and it was the nigger swimming his black ass off with the shark hot on his trail. At the other end of the pool the nigger threw himself out of the water and lay gasping and panting on the ground. The rancher came up and said, "Well, shit. I am a man of my word, so do you want my ranch or my daughter?" The nigger said, " Neither, I just want to know who pushed me into the pool." It was the Summer of 1968 and a nigger showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter comes out and says, "Uh, is there something I can do for you? I mean, we don't let niggers in here." "I know," said the nigger, "It's just that, I am from Alabama, and I grew up around White folks, and I like White folks, and I even married a White woman, so I thought maybe I could get in." Peter said, "Wait, you say you married a White woman in Alabama? When the hell was this?" The nigger looks at his watch and says, "Oh, about 10 minutes ago." Two white convicts escape from their prison, only to find that a nigger has followed them out and is running along with them. The three of them see a few tree in the distance and they each climb up one to avoid the bloodhounds that are tracking them. When the police and dogs get to the first tree the dogs go crazy, barking and jumping. The White convict goes, "Meeeow," and the cops just think it is a cat stuck in a tree. So they go to the next tree where the other White convict says, "Hoo Hoo hoo Hoooo." The police figure it is just an owl in the tree. The nigger, hearing how the 2 White guys avoided capture, figures he will do the same, and when the dogs get to his tree, he lets out a lou, "Moooooooooo." So anyway, they all three get captured, and now they face the firing squad. The first White guy is standing there and as the warden says, "Ready.....Aim...." the prisoner points behind the cops and yells, "Tornado!" As the firing squad turns to look for the twister, the convict jumps over the wall and escapes. Now they have the second White convict standing there. "Ready.....Aim...." He points over their shoulders and yells, "Flash flood!", and escapes as they turn to look. Now the nigger has his turn. "Ready.Aim....." Just then the nigger jumps up and points and yells, "Fire!" Two big, fat, greasy nigger bitches are at the zoo. These are some big buffarilla type women. So they go to the monkey section where the sign says, "Don't feed the gorilla." But the one woman tries to feed the big silverback a bannana anyway. Well, the huge gorilla walks over, bends the bars apart, grabs the nigger woman inside the cage, and beats the shit out of her and commences to raping her in the ass. It takes the zoo keepers 20 minutes to make the gorilla let go of her. They were spraying it with a fire hose, hitting it with sticks, finally they shot it with about 5 tranquilizers. So the one nigger woman goes to visit her friend in the hospital, and she is fucked up. Swollen eyes, missing teeth, hair all torn out, and as soon as she sees her friend she breaks out crying and sobbing. "There, there honey," says her friend, comforting her and holding her, "We are gonna get you through this and you are gonna be jus' fine, honey." "I know, I know," says the first one, "But he don't call and he don't write and he don't come visit....." A black nun and a White nun are walking through Central Park at night when 2 niggers jump out and start raping them. "Oh, forgive them, Lord, for the they know not what they do." The black nun exclaims, "Mine sure do!" So a nigger gets a job digging telephone pole holes and at the end of the day the foreman comes by to see how many he had gotten done. "One, boss," he replied. "One! Hell everybody else can dig 15 holes a day!" "Yeah, sure, but they way they dig them, look how much of the telephone pole is still sticking out of the ground!" A White man and a nigger are walking through the jungle when a lion jumps out to attack them. The White man throws a handful of sand in the lion's face and climbs up a tree real quick, and says to the nigger, who is still standing on the ground, "Hey, you better get your black ass up in this tree!" "Why?," said the spook, "I didn't throw sand in his face." The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear gas grenades at the niger mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses, sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They bite those niggers so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The niggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our dogs will touch them." A guy walks into a bar and exclaims, "Goddamn, niggers are fucking assholes!" Someone at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I am offended by that!" "Why, you aren't a nigger." "I know, I'm a fucking asshole!" A house at the end of the street in a small country town catches on fire. Soon it is fully engulfed in flames and it looks like there is no hope, when all of a sudden here comes a beat up old Chevy truck with a whole family of niggers crammed into it. Must have been 20 of them. Well, they come tearing through town, honking and waving and screaming for people to get out of the way, and they drive right straight into that burning house and stomp the whole damn fire out with their bare feet. The townspeople come crowding around them and congratulate them and thank them for saving the house, and as a token of their gratitude, they give the nigger family $100. "What are you going to do with the money?" they asked. "Well," says the father of the family, "First off we is gonna fix dem fuckin' brakes!" A man is driving down the road and he sees a nigger family carrying furniture and dishes into an outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he sees them attaching a satellite dish to the roof of the outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he drives by and sees two satellite dishes on the roof, and he stops to see what the hell is going on. He says to the nigger, "OK, first I see you carrying furniture into the outhouse and I figure you were moving in. Then I see you putting a dish on the roof, and I figure if you are living in a shithouse you might as well watch T.V. But now I see two dishes on the roof. It is such a small outhouse, why do you need two satellite dishes?" The nigger replied, "Oh, we rented the basement out to Mexicans." A hindu a jew and a nigger are all walking through the country and stop at a farmer's house to see if they could sleep there for the night. "Well," said the farmer, "All I got fer ya is the barn." The three travellers all agreed that the barn was fine, and the farmer showed them the way. A few minutes later there is a knock at the farmer's door. It was the hindu. He said, "I am very sorry, but there is a cow in the barn and it is strictly forbidden for me to sleep in the barn with a cow. Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Oh, fine, you can sleep in the damn house!" said the farmer. A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. This time it's the jew. He said, "Sir, I am jewish, and you expect me to sleep in the same barn as a pig? A dirty, disgusting, filthy swine? Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Fine, fine, you can sleep in the damn house, just stop bitching!" A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. "I swear to god if it's that damn nigger I am going to whip his ass, because I'll be damned if I let him sleep in my house!" The farmer opened the door and it was the pig and the cow. A nigger finds a magic lamp and rubs it and when the genie pops out he told her he wanted to be "Tight, White, and outta sight!" So she turned him into a Tampon. Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other bootlip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!" A first grade teacher wanted to help her students learn black history so one Thursday, she told them that she would read them some famous quotes and whoever could guess who said it could stay home from school the next day. The first one she read was, "By any means necessary." Hands shot up. "Yes, Leroy, can you tell me who said that?" "Malcom X." "That's right," said the teacher, "You may go home now, and you don't have to come to class tomorrow." The next one was, "I have a dream." Again, dozens of little black hands went up. "Yes, Shaquita, do you know who said that?" "Martin Luther King, Jr." "Why yes, that's right, you can go home early and skip school tomorrow also." From the back of the classroom came a disgusted voice, "You goddamn niggers make me fucking sick." The teacher ran to the back of the room and screamed, "Who said that!?" The little White boy jumped out of his chair and headed for the door, saying on his way out, "Tom Metzger. See ya Monday, bitch!" A nigger finds a lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out and offers to grant him a wish. He told her he wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of his life with 3 women in bed with him. The next day he woke up in bed with Hillary Clinton, Lorena Bobbitt, and Tonya Harding. His dick was gone, his leg was broken, and he didn't have any health insurance. A nigger couple showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter came out and said, "Yes?" "Uh, well sir, my wife and I just died in a car wreck, and we thought we could get into Heaven now." Peter looked at his clipboard and shook his head. "No, you two have been pretty scandalous, I don't think we can have you in here. Well....tell you what. I will bring you back to life and put you back on Earth for 30 days. If you can show some self control and abstain from having sex for the whole month, I will let you in." A month later the 2 showed back up at Heaven. "Well," said Peter, "how did you do?" The nigger replied, "Well, we did great for the first 28 days, but then my wife dropped a bag of potato chips on the floor, and when she bent down to pick them up I just lost it and did her right there on the floor." "That's too bad, because now you know I can't let you into Heaven," said Peter. "Oh, that's OK," said the nigger, "they won't let us back in the grocery store, either." A little niglet put some flour on his face and when his mother came home he said, "Look Momma, I is a White boy!" She slapped him and sent him to his room. When his father came home he came running out and said, "Look Daddy, I is a White boy!" His father slapped him and sent him to his room. Finally the boy's grandmother came home and the boy thought for sure that she wouldn't be so mean, so he ran out and said, "Hey, I is a White boy!" When his grandmother also slapped his face, the boy shouted, "I has only been White for 15 minutes and I already hate you damn niggers!" A nigger finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. When he sees the nigger he says, "Oh, shit. What do you want?" The nigger says, "I want a bridge from America to Africa made out of pure gold." The genie says, "Are you fucking crazy? You know how much gold that would take? That is impossible. Pick something else." So the nigger says, "OK, I want all the little nigger children to be just as smart and good looking as the White children." The genie says, "OK, so that bridge, you want it to be 2 lanes or 4 lanes?" A nigger boy comes home from his first grade class and said, "Momma, all the White kids made an A+ on the math test, but I failed. Why is that?" His mother said, "It's because you are black, my son." Then the boy said, "And all the White kids got an A+ on the spelling test, but I failed that too. How come?" "Because you are black, my son," said his mother. "But then when we took a shower after gym class, I noticed my dick was bigger than all the White boy's dicks. Why is that?" "Well son," she said, "that is because you are 15 years old." A trucker carrying a load of bowling balls picked up 2 nigger hitchikers who were pushing bikes with flat tires. He tells them they have to ride in back with the bowling balls, which is fine with them. A few miles down the road a cop pulls the truck over for speeding and he asks to look in the back of the truck. After a quick glance he shuts the door and tells the trucker to get the hell down the road as fast as he can. Then he gets on the police radio and tells his chief, "I got a truck headed your way, you escort him to the county line and get them to escort him right out of the state, quick!" "Why, what the hell is wrong?" asked the chief. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong....that truck is carrying a load of nigger eggs and 2 of them have already hatched and stole some bikes!" A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, "I'll fight you!" That little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too. So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom. Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, "There's a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fucking ass." Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, "Tell that damn nigger his fur coat is in the toilet."
Racial
Characteristics: Who sponsors a mexican race car driver? Spic and Span!!!!! There are three people at a bar. One is Mexican, one is Iraqi and the other is American. The Mexican gets a beer drinks it then he throws the glass in the air takes out his pistol and shoots it to pieces. He says in Mexico glass is so cheap we do not need to drink out of same glass twice. Then the Iraqi gets a beer and drinks it. He also throws it in the air and takes out his AK47 and shoots it to pieces. He says in Iraq we have so much sand that we too do not need to drink out of same glass twice. Then the American gets a beer and drinks it and throws the glass up. He then shoots the Mexican and Iraqi and catches the glass and says, "In America we have so many illegal immigrants that we dont need to drink with the same ones twice. How are a mexican (or spic) and a cue ball alike? The harder you hit it, the more english you get out of it. A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay. Why aren't there any spics on Star Trek? They won't work in the future either! What do you call a gang of spics running down a hill? Jailbreak! Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags? So puerto ricans can window shop! Why do spics drive lowriders? So they can drive while they pick strawberries. What do you call a mexican getting baptised? Bean dip! What do you call a building full of spics? A jail! What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan! What do you call a spic with a rubber toe? Roberto! How do you kill a mexican? Throw a quarter off a cliff! What do you get when you breed a black and a mexican? A theif who's too lazy to steal! Why don't mexicans have barbecues? The beans keep falling through the grill! What did the spic say when his home fell on him? Get off me holmes!! How do you find the richest spic in town? Drop a penny, whoever catches it is the richest spic! Why do mexicans eat tamales on christmas? So they'll have something to unwrap! Why were there only 40,000 mexicans at the Alamo? They only have two cars! ![]() How do you start a mexican parade? Roll a quarter down the street! A mexican and a nigger are riding in car . . who's driving? A cop! How do you hide money from a mexican? Hide it under a bar of soap! Why is there no mexican olympic team? All the spics who can run, jump or swim are in the U.S.! Why is a spic like a pizza? They're both small, greasy and speak no english! What is a Mexican without a lawnmower? Unemployed! Why do mexicans like tiny steering wheels? It make it easier to drive while handcuffed! What do you call a spick with too much hair jell? A jellybean! How do you save a drowning Puerto Rican? You don't know, GOOD! What do get when you cross a Spic and a gook? A car thief who can't drive What do you call a Mexican with long hair? An Indian! Why do Hispanic women hate Swans? Because they're White, They're Beautiful, and They usually know who the fathers of their children are! How do you start a riot in mexico? Roll a Quarter down the street. How do you find the richest beaner in mexico? Find out who go the quarter!
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving
Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now
and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just
arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for
your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your
journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!
Crawford, Texas
(Associated Press Release) - A tragic
fire this morning
destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush.
The fire began in the presidential bathroom where both of the books
were kept.
Both of his books have been lost.
A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had
almost finished coloring the second one.
|
CALL THE 24 HOUR ARYAN UPDATE HOTLINE (574)267-5036 |