Here in Cal tonight, two niggah hos hailed a cab, then gave him an address in nigga town. When he got there, two black-assed bucks jumped out of de bushes and pointed guns in his window, threatening to shoot his honky ass if he didn't get out, give dem de' money and de cab! Of course they'd have killed him anyway, and he knew it, so he hit the gas. When he looked in the rearview mirror, he saw that the coons had jumped in dey Cadillac and wuz giving chase. A hi-speed chase ensued with de niggahs shootin' at de white boy. THEN, the two ho's which were still in the back of his cab, attacked him with box cutters! He fought them off, losing control of the car, which flipped, throwing both black bitches out de windows. BOTH ho's were killed instantly. YAY! The cops arrived quickly and arrested the two bucks in the Coonmobile for armed robbery. The cabbie survived and was taken to the hospital for a number of vicious stab wounds and deep slices. Sheeeiit! All dey wanted wuz some mo' crack money! YAZZZUUH!!

In Stockton California, the trial of another nigger commenced. He is charged with cannibalism for eating his white neighbor! Talk about going back to his ROOTS! YAAZZUUH!!!!

The FUNNIEST thing I saw this week was four niggers going to an old haunted house in Italy. Talk about scared SHITLESS! One of them farted and one Ho' almost shit herself. She screamed so loud that my TV almost blew a speaker! One buck got so scared that his eyes bugged out of his head so far that they looked like two cue balls thrown in a bucket of tar! His hair un-kinked making him look like a burnt pipe cleaner! HAWW!! Aint' nothin' funnier than watchin' niggers go ghost huntin'! They've already got a guilty conscience, and the very thought of running into some spirit from Hell scares the beejeebers out of them! Cause they already know they have seats reserved...HAWW!! Talk about lips a flappin'! It reminded me of the old Little Rascals movies, where Buckwheat would get scared shitless and beat feet. Of course they don't show any of that stuff today because it's politically incorrect. Well, if UGLY ever becomes P.I., niggers are gonna be in some pretty deeeep shit! HAWW!!

In Chicago, some bone-head cop started up a program where parents in the niggertown Projects could call the cops to come and search their kid's rooms for guns and drugs, and there would be complete immunity. They figured a lot of parents were too afraid of their own kids to do it themselves, so the cops offered as a "friendly" gesture... So far there hasn't been ONE SINGLE CALL..... HAWWWWW!

That dumbass cop! These are NIGGERS man! WHAT the HELL were you THINKING? Did he really think that ANY nigger was going to voluntarily give up a GUN??? Niggers and guns go together like queers and assholes!

And now for Niggers in Politics!

Condoleeza Rice is now sidling up to McCain, trying to get him to give her the VP slot on his ticket. He told her he'd think about it, then told her to go out and buy some of those nice knee-pads that Monica Lewinski loved so well during her days in the Whitehouse.. He'll give her a "review" sometime this weekend over donuts and a cup of Vaseline.... Ole' Monica quit the Democratic Party last year, saying the whole experience left a bad taste in her mouth....

What would he say if he got caught with Condi on her knees? "Oops! The jig is up!"??

It's well known that she's highly skilled on the piano...and the flute....LOL!

I could discuss half a dozen other black politicians here, but I just don't have the time to list all their crimes. I don't think there's one single nigger politician that ISN'T being investigated!

Giving a nigger power and expecting him not to immediately abuse it is like giving your car keys to a wetback and saying, "Now don't steal this Pedro!" DAMN! Liberals are soooo STOOOOPID!!!!

After all..the best they have to offer this election year is a closet Muslim coon or a sex-starved, man-eating bitch! Ten to your one they run together on the same ticket... I can just picture her and Bill and Obama all in the Abraham Lincoln bed together...HAWWW!!! (Pardon me while I go puke..)

THREATS!!!

On OPRAH last week, de Reverend Al Sharpton said that if Obama didn't win the election, niggers all across the US will riot and loot, screaming RACISM!!! That's because they're all hoping he gets in. They fully expect dey bruthu to roll out de goodies to niggahs everywhere and to do a job on whitey! Do I get a YAAZZUUH???

I can just see ole' Obama at his Inaugural Address right now... To the right and left of him are eight fat niggah ho's all wearing short-shorts and damn near nothing else. They'll all be ass-first to the audience, bent over, and shaking their butt-cheeks so fast that smoke starts to rise from their asses as Fifty-Cent stands there rapping profanities and pointing to those asses and nodding, saying, "Yeah, dat's right! U-huh! Yaaazuh!" And Obama and Rev. Wright do the boogaloo around the podium, singing, "We got you now you white muthafuggas!" Can I get another YAAZZUUUH!!!??

The guests of honor will be O.J., Michael Jackson, Martin Luthor Koon's widow and none other than Bin Laden himself, who personally lays a new turbin on Obama's nappy head! Man, what a party! Pelosi, Kennedy, and Boxer will be positively orgasmic!

Yep! The good ole' US of A is doin' jest fine folks! Why worry about a thing? After all, the niggers, liberals, queers, wetbacks, and terrorists have everything under control!

I KNOW you'll gimme a hearty YAAZZUUUH NOW!!!!!!

And that's it for this edition of.. NIGGERS IN THE NEWS!!!!