I just found out a few days ago in a local news report what's been eating on me when I water the lawn in the evenings. If I do it just as it turns dusk, something rises up out of the moist grass and has me for lunch. It crawls under my shirt, up my back, in my hair, down my pants, up my legs, and even in my shorts, gnawing and biting and itching like crazy as you feel ka-zillions of the little critters attacking you like fried chicken at a Sharpton rally. This only started happening for the first time a couple of months ago, after a new load of wetbacks crammed their filthy asses into the already overcrowded house next door. The idiot landlords took out one of those "no down" loans that those greedy corporations were giving millions of coons and wetbacks (Yep, they're wetback too), and of course, they began to default almost immediately.

Their solution? Simple: Move in with Mamma and rent the house out to make the payments! Sooo, they did exactly that, but they rented it to a damned "Coyote", a smuggler of wetbacks who sneaks them in across the border. He then charges them a ridiculous fee for supplying them with a place to stay until they get settled somewhere. Then new ones are brought in to replace the vacancy. This keeps a continual supply of new savages running in and out next door, bringing with them every kind of disease and bug imaginable. You all have to keep in mind that all South America is a no-man's land. No sanitation, no laws, and no government cleanliness standards. And when they sneak over here they aren't even checked out by our own security for nasties. The average number of wetbacks living in that house at any given time is never under ten, not counting women and wetlets. It's a chaos of noise, Mexican music, beer cans, filth and police visits.

Lately we've been smelling powerful bug killers being sprayed over there. The fumes damn near knock us out at times. They obviously have the common scourge of the wetback: Roaches!!!

At my place, we have never had roaches of any kind. Mainly because we're clean people, a trait that's completely alien to those maggots. But last week as I was walking down the driveway to check the mail, I spotted something skittering cross the cement, traveling in the general direction of our home. It was a huge breeding sow of a German cockroach! God! That's ALL we needed! I stomped it to atoms, then I turned and growled loudly at the wetbacks... I then bought a load of bug repellant and sprayed a heavy barrier between my place and Nastyville. I'll just have to hope...and pray...

But back to the creepy-crawlies...

These sabre-toothed crotch crickets were new arrivals to our turf, and I had strong suspicions but no proof of their origin. Then came the news blurb explaining that a new parasite had been introduced over here from South America (Of course they never say wetbacks brought them here. I guess the little buggers can drive.), and that they lived in lawns and vegetation. They are so damned small that they make gnats look like the Hulk. They are almost perfectly circular with no markings, dark brown, and move like a little PacMan. But flip one over under the microscope and you see a dozen spiked legs, a head that looks like a vampire on steroids, and a set of fangs that would make a pit viper feel like a pussy. These are mean motorscooters...

Their only saving grace is that they're so tiny. Damn good thing too or we'd all be looking like Sunsweet raisins. You can't brush them off and they won't crawl off or fly off. And once they're in your clothes you have to toss them in the washer with plenty of hot water and soap to kill their asses. I made the drastic mistake of putting on the same cut-offs. Baaad move! I ended up running to the shower just to get them off! You have no choice. You shower once they're on you. Now I water long before dusk and I have no problems. But my yard is now thoroughly Mexicanized. Must make the sonsofbitches feel right at home...

Just one more present from the liberal elite to you and me for allowing these bastards in here without killing every last one of them. Some day....sigh....